Wine Night Movie Review: Meet The Robinsons (+The Phantom Menace & Lizzy Mcguire Movie)

A review of last night's movie... plus the last two I forgot to review

Dear Readers:

If you’re thinking “Hey, it’s been a while since we got a Wine Night Movie Review,”¹ you’d be absolutely right. The reasons are twofold:

1. I was sick for over a month. It started with COVID — ten days of mild misery — followed by a brief four- or five-day recovery window… and then BOOM!: the flu hit. Two full weeks of it. I was wrapped in a blanket watching weird documentary shows, which ultimately led to…

2. An unhealthy obsession with a show called Expedition Bigfoot. I started binge-watching it every night after my fiancée fell asleep — a time I usually dedicate to writing blog posts. So if it seemed like I slowed down with my podts, it’s because I was deep in the woods with a crew of cryptid hunters tracking something that may or may not exist.... #Priorities. (I actually have a well documented and possibly unhealthy obsession with Bigfoot... not really though... its actually pretty healthy... #Believe)

ANYWAY, I digress — severely. This week, I’m back in action with a review of Disney’s Meet the Robinsons — plus some quick thoughts on The Phantom Menace and The Lizzie McGuire Movie.

🌀 Meet the Robinsons — An Underrated Gem

Simply put: Meet the Robinsons is excellent.

I vaguely remember seeing it as a kid, but it was basically a blank slate upon rewatch. The premise? A brilliant orphan named Lewis struggles with not being adopted despite his incredible intelligence and knack for invention. One time-travel incident later, he meets an eccentric future family and a time-traveling villain who wants to steal his success.

At the risk of spoiling the whole thing — though, can I even spoil an 18-year-old movie on my blog? Jury’s out — I’ll just say that a few twists are a bit predictable (unless you're five years old, in which case, okay... I'll allow it). Still, it’s genuinely funny, heartfelt, and surprisingly deep. Adults and kids can enjoy it equally.

Honestly, I’d go so far as to say it might be one of the best animated kids’ movies I’ve seen. Maybe. Toy Story and Finding Nemo still hold strong, but Meet the Robinsons deserves way more love than it gets.

🌌 The Phantom Menace — Space Wizards, Pod Races, and Nostalgia

I grew up on Star Wars, and despite being a cranky old man at heart who swears by the original trilogy (shoutout to my late Uncle Joe’s VHS tapes), The Phantom Menace still holds a special place in my heart².

Yes, it’s cheesy. Yes, Jar Jar exists. But also yes — that pod racing scene? Iconic. The final lightsaber duel between Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Darth Maul? Top-tier Star Wars.

Also, I’m convinced The Phantom Menace might be the best Star Wars movie to drink to. (Though I haven’t yet attempted watching the sequels with alcohol… and something tells me I’ll need a LOT of it. Just kidding! Or am I?)

🎤 The Lizzie McGuire Movie — This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

This was my “girl movie” trade-off for getting to watch Star Wars. And you know what? It wasn’t bad. In fact — dare I say it — from a technical standpoint, it might’ve been a better movie than The Phantom Menace. Painful? Yes. Honest? Also yes.
If you grew up watching Lizzie McGuire, the movie is a solid payoff. It plays into every teen movie trope you’d expect, but in a way that’s charming and nostalgic.

Bonus brag: I called a twist in this movie well before it happened, further solidifying my belief that I should be hired by Hollywood as a “twist consultant.” Seriously, studios — get better at hiding your reveals.

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through the sickness, the cryptid hunting, and this extra-long review (though conpared to manybof my normal political posts, probably not). If you made it this far, you’re probably one of my most loyal readers, and I appreciate the heck out of you!

Until next time, thanks for reading! If you enjoy this chaos, please consider subscribing. And if you’ve got any movie or TV show suggestions for future Wine Night Movie Reviews, send them my way — preferably before I fall down another Bigfoot rabbit hole— which I will soon be revewing as I get closer to the show's end. Anyway, Cheers!!!🍷

Very truly yours,

James Kaiser


Footnotes:

1. Link to The Kaiser Take's inaugural post explaining Wine Night Movie reviews:

https://thekaisertake.substack.com/p/welcome-to-wine-night-movie-review

2. The Phantom Menace was actually the first movie I saw in theaters at age 4— a movie I also saw with my aforementioned Uncle Joe who passed away when I was very young.